Cheshire 4 Life Comrades and a Happy Candlemas to you all. One of my New Year’s Resolutions was to rate every single pub I drank in throughout the year, as opposed to just on C4Lf bar crawls. And here are the first results of my endeavours, as it was no austerity January for me this year (or Dryathlon as all those Rendys on facebook have been calling it) but I instead visited 32 pubs. Cheers to C4Lf for providing much needed income to British hostelries during the leanest drinking month of the year.
The rating system is the classic one familiar to all Men and WO-men of the Shire, passed down to me by my father and his father before him. According to the medieval history of Cheshire, the Polichronicon it is believed to have been invented by the mysterious giant Magog – the legendary founder of Chester. All ratings are out of 5 – D stands for Decor, A is for Atmosphere, B is for Booze, C is for Clientele and C.O.B. is for Courtesy of Bar Staff.
Best decor: The Circus in Manchester has the smallest bar I’ve ever seen and is an unspoilt Manchester pub serving a fine pint of Tetley’s in a city full of pubs that have been gutted, bourgified and filled with wine bar pine. It was suggested to me by a gentleman at the Manchester Fanzine Festival, so thank you sir. Not one for Liverpool fans though as it’s bedecked with images of George Best boozing it up back in the sixties. Good job Smit wasn’t there with me to rate it.
Best atmosphere: Biddle Bros in Clapton, London can often be too busy or spoilt by obnoxious hipsters. On this occasion we managed to get a seat on the mangled sofa in the front room, we weren’t too close to the band so it wasn’t overly loud, the hipster babble was countered by a tale of random violence by some booze locals at the bar, and the pub parrot was eyeing us with some suspicion from his perch on the Amstel pump. This heady cocktail created the ideal atmosphere of comfort laced with non-specific menace to enjoy a pint on a Friday evening.
Best booze: Booze is one of the few categories that pubs can, on occasion, score a full 5.0 in. Two pubs achieved this in January the craft pub the Euston Tap outside Euston in London where we sampled Smokey Moor Horizon (5.0%), Magic Rock Curious (3.9%), Duck Abduction (5.5%) and Man vs. Beer (4.4%). The second was another craft beer pub the Foundry in Canterbury, which had its own microbrewery in house. Here we enjoyed a pint of Foundry Black (5.1%) and Street light (5.8%). It should be noted that both pubs met Tone’s criteria of containing at least two ales or craft beers that were over 5.0%
Best clientele: Counter-intuitively Ed, Tone & Fran all voted for the Pembury in Hackney, London as containing the best clientele, even though the numeracy of these hipsters frequently prevents them from getting a table on a Thursday, Friday, Saturday or Sunday. Celeb clientele such as The Chief, Euro-Millions Tony and Old Man with a Newspaper obviously contributed to this Hackney stalwart winning this category, alongside the vast number of Big Bushy Beards on show.
Best bar staff: Despite not having been in the Holborn Whippet in Bloomsbury, London since October, the barmaid still remembered me gave me some good bants and told me where my specific beer came from. This got them a 4.75 from me, a full 5 from Smit and an angry glare, and a begrudging NA from Tone.
Best overall pub: This maybe the cause of some contention given accusations of bias on previous bar crawls (I’m thinking Smashdown London Town Hardman) but the Pembury Tavern in Hackney, London won overall best pub for Jan. Although Fran is obviously a confirmed Pembury loyalist and will never hear a bad word said about it, Ed was on the voting committee for this month but still voted it pretty highly considering he regards the decor soup kitchenesque. The Pembury’s combination of Milton Breweries Ales (including the legendary Marcus Aurilius (7.5%), Caligula (8.5%) & one cider at usually 7.0%), fervent bar billiards at 1.30 AM atmosphere and bar staff with Dick Turpin tattoos saw the Pembury crowned best C4Lf pub for January 2013. Here’s hoping I actually get to do some Cheshire ones in February (does Homer Simpson tight collar ‘yeesh’ gesture).
Thanks to everyone who formed the elite ratings panel including: Tone, Ed, Smit, Walka, Cara, Felicity, Becky Allen, Hipster Chris, Hockenhull, Alsop, Lazars, Suraya, Ben, Lloyd, Issie, Big Dave and Freeman.
Full Jan 2013 pub spreadsheet (not database aye Baldwin)
Pub
|
Description
|
D
|
A
|
B
|
C
|
COB
|
M
| |
1
|
Pembury, Hackney, London
|
Hackney’s rendiest soup kitchen
|
4.0
|
4.5
|
4.3
|
4.7
|
4.5
|
4.4
|
2
|
The Circus, Manchester
|
Tiny United spattered bar with top Tetleys,
|
5.0
|
4.0
|
3.5
|
4.5
|
4.5
|
4.3
|
3
|
The Foundry, Canterbury,
|
Hop-bedeked, Craft Creche
|
3.6
|
3.9
|
5.0
|
4.0
|
4.5
|
4.2
|
4
|
Clapton Hart, Hackney, London
|
Colossal candlelit Hipster house
|
4.3
|
4.3
|
4.3
|
3.5
|
4.5
|
4.2
|
5
|
Irish pub, Bally Crag
|
Pub, post office & country music den
|
3.5
|
4.5
|
4.0
|
4.0
|
4.0
|
4.0
|
6
|
The Mucky Pup, Islington, London
|
Hipster/rock hybrid in yuppie filled Angel
|
4.8
|
4.3
|
3.3
|
4.3
|
3.5
|
4.0
|
7
|
Euston Tap, London
|
Craft beer train turret
|
3.8
|
3.8
|
5.0
|
2.8
|
4.5
|
4.0
|
8
|
Royal Oak, London Bridge,
|
Barley wine & singing cockneys
|
4.8
|
4.0
|
4.0
|
3.5
|
3.5
|
4.0
|
9
|
The Cross Keys, Covent Garden
|
Skillet-heavy Brodies baskets
|
4.7
|
4.1
|
3.6
|
3.7
|
3.3
|
3.9
|
10
|
The Harp, Covent Garden
|
Jam-packed central London ale house
|
4.1
|
3.8
|
3.8
|
3.3
|
4.3
|
3.9
|
11
|
The Old Neptune (Neppy's), Whitstable
|
Kentished driftwood viagrathon
|
4.0
|
4.3
|
3.0
|
3.8
|
4.0
|
3.8
|
12
|
The Jolly Butcher, Stoke Newington, London
|
Hovering table vultures compound Sunday lunch blues
|
4.0
|
3.5
|
4.8
|
3.8
|
3.0
|
3.8
|
13
|
The Castle, Manchester
|
Northern quarter Hipsterfied but no Old Tom
|
3.5
|
4.0
|
4.7
|
3.9
|
2.8
|
3.8
|
14
|
Cherry Tree, Canterbury
|
Fortified Pig Fuckers
|
4.3
|
3.5
|
3.8
|
3.3
|
4.0
|
3.8
|
15
|
Old Red Cow, London
|
Craft & the City
|
3.8
|
3.3
|
4.3
|
3.4
|
3.9
|
3.7
|
16
|
Biddle Bros, Hackney, London
|
Parrots & booze in brown bag crowd
|
4.0
|
4.5
|
2.0
|
4.0
|
4.0
|
3.7
|
17
|
Riley's, Clapton
|
Former Turkish coffee club sells late night lock ins
|
2.9
|
4.0
|
2.6
|
4.3
|
4.8
|
3.7
|
18
|
The City Arms, Manchester
|
Indy soundtrack but ill-kept ales
|
4.0
|
4.0
|
3.8
|
3.4
|
3.0
|
3.7
|
19
|
The Holborn Whippet, Bloomsbury
|
Where everybody knows your name
|
2.3
|
3.3
|
4.5
|
3.3
|
4.9
|
3.6
|
20
|
The Duke of Cumberland, Whitstable
|
Boho music pub with roadie barstaff
|
3.5
|
3.8
|
3.4
|
3.3
|
4.0
|
3.6
|
21
|
Elderfield, Hackney, London
|
Chatsworth night hawks
|
3.7
|
3.5
|
3.8
|
2.9
|
3.8
|
3.5
|
22
|
The Coach and Horses, Stoke Newington, London
|
Lone children, Sunday lunches & disastrous quiz
|
3.5
|
4.3
|
3.0
|
2.8
|
3.8
|
3.5
|
23
|
Gulliver’s, Manchester
|
JW Lees water but good soundtrack
|
3.6
|
4.2
|
2.2
|
2.8
|
4.3
|
3.4
|
24
|
The Dolphin, Canterbury
|
Tattered union jack & bird of paradise wall paper
|
3.8
|
3.4
|
3.1
|
2.6
|
4.0
|
3.4
|
25
|
Crown & Kettle, Manchester
|
Mancunian football fire trap
|
4.0
|
1.5
|
3.0
|
3.8
|
4.5
|
3.4
|
26
|
The Parrot, Canterbury
|
Former Simple Simons ruined by signs for Chicken Kievs
|
3.6
|
3.6
|
3.3
|
2.6
|
3.3
|
3.3
|
27
|
The Perseverance, Bloomsbury, London
|
Bloomsbury suits & sign language
|
3.9
|
3.0
|
3.8
|
3.5
|
2.0
|
3.2
|
28
|
The Vine, Manchester
|
Too many suits and wine bar interior
|
3.0
|
2.7
|
3.1
|
2.5
|
3.3
|
2.9
|
29
|
The Monument, Whitstable
|
Battle cruiser grey with a view
|
2.3
|
2.8
|
1.9
|
3.3
|
3.8
|
2.8
|
30
|
Two Sawyers, Canterbury
|
Surly staff, gastro & griege
|
3.1
|
2.8
|
3.1
|
2.5
|
2.1
|
2.7
|
31
|
Just another pub, something rose, Islington, London
|
Bafflingly in 2013 beer guide. Just another pub.
|
3.4
|
3.1
|
2.0
|
2.0
|
2.5
|
2.6
|
32
|
The Anchor, Southwark, London
|
Taylor-Walkerised Southbank disgrace
|
2.3
|
1.5
|
2.3
|
2.0
|
2.0
|
2.0
|
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