After a thorough rooting for the Fran filing system, records suggest that I drank in 28 pubs in February, one for every day of the month. That’s well within government guidelines isn’t it Matron? (I can see her shaking her head now and shouting “Increasing risk, increasing risk” in my direction).
This month’s selection of pubs mostly come from Oxford, Ryegate & Redhill in Surrey, That London and a whopping two whole pubs from the Shire (and one of those was the Chester FC bar, which just scrapes in as pub although it does do a nice pint of Spitting Feathers). Commiserations to the Farmers’ Arms in Kelsall, under the new stewardship of Landlord Pete of Cherry Orchard in Chester fame, it came in second place in the atmosphere category. So close to a Cheshire pub actually winning something.
Best pub - The Fir Tree in Oxford.
Remarkably the Fir Tree managed to win the title of Best Pub despite not coming first in any individual category. In terms of décor it’s a hodge-podge, multi-layered affair full of nick nacks. In terms of atmosphere it’s bathed in redlight and has a residential pub that stays open to three in the morning rock vibe, with a juke box consisting of 80s hair metal and 90s indy. Booze lets it down slightly with everything falling under 5% and we were left drinking Cotswold Cider on tap. Clientele contains a mix of Goths, South Africans and a classic alkie old man at the bar in a mac muttering to himself about the state of the world and the crimes it has bestowed on him. The bar staff helped me work out the antiquated juke box and even advised me on pubs in Oxford to go to get some proper cider and folk. A great all rounder.
Best decor – The Half Moon, Oxford
Following on from the Circus in the Manchester last month, the décor category is won by a small snug pub that remains unspoilt. Let that be a lesson to you pubcos, no more REFURBS! The Half Moon in Oxford is a small two roomed Irish Pub, with seating around the side with the centres cleared for folk performances. There’s a real fire at one end with a large mirror over it. It felt small and cosy, like Britain did during the Cold War. A slight mysterious quality was added by the addition of coloured bulbs, adding green and red pockets of light to its postwar gloom.
Best atmosphere – The Garland, Ryegate, Surrey
The Garland wins best atmosphere for its excellent pub rock band, which Smitdawg described as like something out of Phoenix Nights. All in their forties or fifties they played Ian Dury and the Blockheads covers mixed with Madness to a crowd of aging rockers and guys in tapout t-shirts. Periodically an old man in the crowd would open his mac and pretend to flash the barmaids. My notes are sketchy but the band were called ‘the Brotherhood of…something’ and are presumably stalwarts of the Surrey pubrock circuit.
Best booze – The Bree Louise, Euston, London
Considering all the tepid pints of homesick Timothy Taylor I’ve endured in the Euston area, it’s a mystery it’s taken the BM lions (the hated enemies of C4Lf) so long to find the Bree Louise. Especially as it’s so close to the Summertown Cage Arena. Blame must surely be placed on Hockenhull’s shoulders for hoarding this place to himself for years, like some kind of CAMRA miser. Nowadays, in Londonshire there’s a fair old quantity of pubs that have over twenty different beers on. However, these tend to be Craft beer rather than Real ale pubs and often what looks like an exciting Craft Brew from a valley in Nevada turns out to be another mass of fizz and coolant that tastes like everything else on the blackboard. Then if there are multiple real ales on tap, (say the Mill Hotel In Chester) often they only have one that’s >5%. And as we all know Tone’s mantra is: over 5% acceptable but over 6% preferred and barley wine compulsory. The Bree Louise had about four beers over 5%, some in the lofty 7% plus range. And then there are the eight ciders all with some variation of pig in their name. It’s as if the Euston Tap and the Cider Tap merged and got rid of all the craft. It would certainly have gotten 5s all round if only it had Dudley based Beygum’s (sp?) mild, the only beer that can achieve a full 5 star rating according to Hipster Chris’ criteria.
Best Clientele – The Half Moon, Oxford
Another one for the Half Moon. The clientele here was minimalistic but each one contributed to the pub’s rich eco-system. The centre piece was a vain ponytailed 50-something Scottsman, who interspersed gazing longingly at his own reflection in the mirror, with advising a young Italian student he’d just met to quit his studies and get a job at the Morris car factory up the road. The Italian student responded by showing him pictures of his girlfriends (plural intentional), who he said were ‘stoopid girls’ but had very nice mothers. In the corner by the fire a trio of bearded types in body warmers huddled waiting for the long promised folk night, while at the bar a lone gent diligently worked his way through the Times crossword.
Courtesy of Bar Staff – The Garibaldi, Surrey
“What’s the percentage of your strongest ale?”
“No strong ales here lad. Can’t sell em, they just sit in the barrel. And if you do sell em, you don’t want the person in the pub whose drank em. Have a pint of London Pride.”
Despite, or perhaps, because of this response we warmed to the landlord at Smitdawg’s new local, the Garibaldi in Surrey. He initially thought we were on some sort of collective mass pub crawl for some reason (I wasn’t in fancy dress, well no fancier than usual). When we told him Smit had just moved in next door, he had a lengthy chat about the area and its history. A very friendly chap he also owns a small terrier.
Thanks to my drinking companions this month: Tone, Ed, Weaver, Ben, Amy, Smitdawg, Lazars, Hipster Chris, Hockenhull, Sascha, Gomez, Anna, Rachel, Dawn and The Guys!
Full pub ratings for Feb – as always the categories are Décor (D), Atmosphere (A), Booze (B), Clientele (C), Courtesy of the Bar Staff (COB) and the Mean for all the scores (M)
Pub
|
Description
|
D
|
A
|
B
|
C
|
COB
|
M
| |
1
|
The Fir Tree, Oxford
|
Classic rock juke box & bearded bar staff
|
4.6
|
4.3
|
3.6
|
4.3
|
4.8
|
4.30
|
2
|
The Isis, Oxford
|
Uncertain impala decor with Cotswold cider
|
4.9
|
4.5
|
4.1
|
3.7
|
4.3
|
4.28
|
3
|
The Half Moon, Oxford
|
Irish pub with pockets of green light & mirror enamoured Scott
|
5.0
|
4.5
|
3.5
|
4.5
|
3.8
|
4.25
|
4
|
The Far from the Madding Crowd, Oxford
|
Real ale and white walls. Students, odd balls, and eccentrics
|
4.0
|
4.4
|
4.3
|
4.3
|
4.3
|
4.2
|
5
|
The Plough, Ryegate
|
Brown and white collies and Falkland Island airstrips
|
4.4
|
4.0
|
3.8
|
4.2
|
4.0
|
4.1
|
6
|
The Garland, Ryegate
|
Ageing Ian Dury Tribute Act with dancing, flashing locals
|
3.7
|
4.8
|
3.4
|
4.1
|
4.3
|
4.1
|
7
|
The Marsh Harrier, Oxford
|
Slightly gutted but not spoilt
|
3.9
|
4.0
|
4.1
|
4.0
|
3.8
|
4.0
|
8
|
James Street Tavern, Oxford
|
Mellifluous, melodious, mellow, lazar light show
|
3.8
|
4.5
|
3.5
|
3.6
|
4.0
|
3.9
|
9
|
Bree Louise, Euston
|
Beer Mecca in the backstreets of Euston
|
3.2
|
4.0
|
4.8
|
3.5
|
3.5
|
3.8
|
10
|
The Bear, Oxford
|
One lone Celtic fan amidst the academics. Unpleasant aroma of urine.
|
4.8
|
2.5
|
3.7
|
3.9
|
4.0
|
3.8
|
11
|
Farmer's Arms, Kelsall, CHESHIRE
|
New Landlord but return of the classic T’House
|
4.0
|
4.6
|
2.8
|
4.3
|
3.0
|
3.7
|
12
|
The Garibaldi, Ryegate
|
Big windows, weak ales, chatty landlord
|
3.4
|
3.8
|
2.8
|
3.6
|
4.9
|
3.7
|
13
|
Lamb and Flag, Oxford
|
Good until the stagdo arrived.
|
4.5
|
3.9
|
3.8
|
2.9
|
3.5
|
3.7
|
14
|
King's Arms, Oxford
|
Scotland vs. England, Chocolate Double Drop, studenty but pleasant
|
4.1
|
3.6
|
3.6
|
2.5
|
4.0
|
3.6
|
15
|
The Duke (of York), Bloomsbury
|
Classic 1930s interior with stonefaced landlord
|
4.1
|
3.6
|
3.2
|
3.8
|
3.1
|
3.6
|
16
|
The Red Lion, Barnes, London
|
Well-heeled Brian May hangout
|
3.6
|
2.7
|
3.6
|
3.1
|
3.7
|
3.34
|
17
|
Blue's Bar, Chester, CHESHIRE
|
Spitting feathers and chubby Chester chaps
|
2.5
|
3.8
|
3.8
|
3.5
|
3.0
|
3.32
|
18
|
The Red Lion, Ryegate
|
Archie the boxer lying in front of a St George's flag
|
3.9
|
3.6
|
2.9
|
2.8
|
3.4
|
3.31
|
19
|
The Museum Tavern, Bloomsbury
|
After work haunt, original glasswork
|
3.7
|
3.3
|
3.8
|
2.7
|
2.9
|
3.3
|
20
|
The White Lion, Ryegate
|
Good beer, but none of it on. African trinkets.
|
4.1
|
2.4
|
3.1
|
2.5
|
3.4
|
3.1
|
21
|
The Hatch, Ryegate
|
Obsessive master barman knows all the percentages.
|
3.2
|
2.2
|
4.3
|
1.8
|
3.8
|
3.1
|
22
|
The Joshua Tree, Redhill
|
U2 themed Yurt
|
3.4
|
2.3
|
3.6
|
2.1
|
2.8
|
2.8
|
23
|
The Marquis, Covent Garden
|
Friendly barstaff fall on deaf ears
|
1.7
|
2.5
|
2.1
|
2.5
|
3.3
|
2.4
|
24
|
Bat1, Shoreditch
|
Shoredick-filled all male Coyote ugly
|
3.0
|
2.8
|
2.7
|
1.0
|
2.5
|
2.4
|
25
|
The Duke, Covent Garden
|
Generic theatre pub
|
1.8
|
2.0
|
2.5
|
2.1
|
3.5
|
2.4
|
26
|
The Cat and Mutton, Hackney
|
Epicentre of the Hipsterverse on a Sat night. Genuinely unpleasant.
|
3.4
|
2.3
|
2.8
|
1.3
|
2.0
|
2.3
|
27
|
The Duke's Cut, Oxford
|
Not the real ale pub we were promised
|
1.6
|
1.5
|
2.0
|
2.0
|
2.9
|
2.0
|
28
|
The Lemon tree, Covent Garden
|
The barmen served us a pint, then turned on the lights. Fuck you!
|
0.8
|
0.8
|
1.5
|
1.5
|
0.0
|
0.9
|
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