Belated May pub ratings

It’s May pub ratings times as I desperately attempt to get this finished before the end of June (However, as you can see I have failed to do this). It’s been slim pickings for pubs in May, according to my ratings book I’ve seemingly only been to thirteen pubs. Well done me, eh Pech? I am the personification of temperance. Sadly, this number is slightly unrepresentative as it fails to take into account all the previous pubs I’ve drank in earlier in the year (the Isis, the Euston Tap, the Pembury etc.) and so didn’t rate. However, although this sample size is small, May’s pubs contain some real gems including some of Cheshire’s finest.

Best Pub (4.03), Best Courtesy of Bar Staff (5.0) – The Travellers Rest, Alpraham, Cheshire

An unspoilt 40s time warp pub, which is one of only seven Cheshire pubs listed by Camra as possessing a historic interior of national importance. This multi-roomed pub used to be run by two old ladies who my Dad and Nigel used to request crisps from back in their darting days; forcing the aged women to descend the perilous ladder to the cellar where the crisps were stored. There were no old women to torment when my Dad and I arrived on our way back from Crewe station. However, there was the son of one of said old women, who remembered my Dad from the ten years ago when he and Nigel used to frequent the Travellers and live out their Good Night Sweetheart fantasies. After getting our pints of Weetwood Eastgate, we were engaged in conversation by one of the only two other customers in the pub; a gent in his 70s who claimed to be the undefeated boomerang champion of Great Britain 1982. By the end of the conversation I knew the complete rules of the seven different competitions that make up the Boomerang heptathlon.  He also tried to buy an octagonal pint glass my dad owned for £5. My dad declined his offer. 

Best décor (4.3) – The Brewery Tap, Chester

This was the favourite pub of the BM Lions following the Chester Half Marathon. Need I remind you, one last time, that our half marathon times were Fran (1.39.39), Harnden [not Hardman mind] (1.48.07), Hockenhull  (1.50.06) and Hipster Chris (1.57.05). C4LF competitors Mister Lloyd and Baldwin unfortunately failed to make the race due to that most Cheshire of qualities – disorganisation.  The Brewery Tap is the outlet for Crocky Trail based brewery Spitting Feathers. I used to be somewhat sceptical about Spitting Feathers, partly because of a misguided loyalty to rival local brewers Weetwood but also because all their beer tastes the same – of grain. However, over the years I’ve developed quite a hankering for Spitting Feather’s grainy charms. The Brewery Tap is in Gamul House, a 16^th-century hall crafted from Cheshire sandstone and was suitably historic for the heritagedly-inclined BM Lions.

Best Atmosphere (5.0) and Best Clientele (4.4) – The Railway Tavern, Culham, Oxfordshire

Having rated every decent pub in Oxford City centre, Tone and Fran head off into the Oxfordshire countryside and stumble across the Railway Tavern in Culham, Oxfordshire. This is after creeping around the grounds of Tone’s old school, a risky business in the current Yew Tree climate.  Walking into Culham which is basically the Railway Tavern and railway station, we’re amazed to find Wittstock. A festival which has attracted a mixed crowd of well-to-do North Oxford families, old school rockers and travelling folk accompanied by their numerous dogs. I was expecting the music to be standard pub rock fair. Instead, what I saw was an amazing synth male/female duo (who I think were called Space Heroes of the People), one on the keyboard, one on the electric double base, who finished with an electroclash cover of McClusky’s To Hell with Good Intentions. I danced to this like some kind of electro loon until Tone dragged me away to catch the last train home. God speed Space Heroes of the People, me and the travelling folk will never forget thee.

Best booze – The Nags Head, Abingdon, Oxfordshire

Another pub Tone and I encountered on our travels around Oxfordshire. This one located in the picturesque town of Abingdon (or Abingboredom to quote Ed, Tone’s brother). This was a pub located on the idyllic setting of the riverside Thames, next to the town’s old medieval bridge. It’s the kind of place that you can imagine Dara, Rory and Griff stopping off at on one of their riverside jaunts…well when Rorys out of jail. Sadly, the inside has been greiged in a misguided attempt at gastrofication but we had a very nice pint of Abingdon Bridge in the unspoilt sunny island garden.

Pub Update:  Refurbed T’House at Top update

And so the news you’ve been waiting for. An update on the refurbed T’House at Top, C4Lf HQ, in Kelsall. Realise from the start that my stance is there is no such as a good pub refurbishment. Especially, in the present age where the general trend seems to be to gut the interior, whack in some wooden floors and then paint everything grey. However, in the case of the T’House at Top the refurbishment is tolerable. Cheshire’s real ale and cottaging guide Out Inn Cheshire describes it as a ‘sensitive and welcome refurbishment, which in spite of one or two minor structural alterations still very much remains in the ‘traditional pub’ genre. I’d broadly agree with that but will also go into laborious detail.

The main change that’s happened is that the pool table has been moved from the snug into the darts room and the back bar has been bricked up and is now accessible through a hatch. I suppose this was done to try and make the backroom even more removed from the rest of the pub, so that the rest of the clientele are spared the rabble rousing of Weaver and the rest of the darts team. It reminded me a bit of the heavily reinforced bull pen at Chester Zoo where we used to put Chang the bull elephant when he’d gone into musth. This I have no problem with. It makes sense; there’s been too many deaths caused already by a Weaver in musth, or Vodka Weave as he’s known. 

The other positive things are that it hasn’t been greiged – only a small bit of greige wooden panelling has crept in by the toilets. Nor has loads of wooden floor been put in to make the pub resemble a twenty-something city boy’s first Ikea-furnished flat. That being said why remove all the historic photos of old Kelsall, including the photos of the great snow of 72 and replace them with generic black and white photos of farmers from Punch Tavern’s photo library (some of which are clearly not from Cheshire with Glastonbury tor visible in the backdrop)? Also what’s with the current trend for lighting pubs like they’re a dental surgery? Pubs should be dark and dank, so drinkers can revel in their shame and self-loathing and not feel they’re sitting on a bar stool about to compete in Mastermind (although Tuck’s pub quizzes are admittedly quite hard).  

That being said such annoyances can be removed by simply turning your chair to the wall so that you’re facing the comforting cold brown of theThouse’s original sandstone wall.  Chatting to the locals all of them seemed to like it (this is Cheshire after all and a shiny refurbed goes down well). Even more importantly the Old Dog was back on, meaning that there were four Weetwoods in total (Old Dog, Eastgate, Best Bitter and Lady Weetwood). The pub was also jam-packed on a Friday night for the quiz something that I haven’t seen in T’House since Mike’s day and for this, Pete the landlord, C4Lf thanks you.

So here are the final ratings for May. As always the pubs are rated out of 5 in the categories décor, atmosphere, booze, clientele and courtesy of bar staff before being rounded up as the mean.

Ratings

#	Pubs	Description	D	A	B	C	COB	M
1	The Travellers Rest, Bunbury, Cheshire	50s time-warp, Weetwood Eastgate, boomerang champions and Cheshire. What’s not to like.	3.5	3.8	3.9	4.0	5.0	4.03
2	Railway Tavern, Culham, Oxfordshire	Travelling folk and their dogs shimmy to electronica in a medium-sized tent with wedding disco lighting	3.4	5.0	3.6	4.4	4.0	4.02
3	The New Refurbed T'House	Slightly worse than the old Thouse by 0.01 (or a Hardmenth) of a place.	3.2	4.0	3.5	3.6	4.3	3.72
4	The Wagon and Horses, Culham, Oxfordshire	A rocking soundtrack and unspoilt roadside pub with carpets	3.8	4.3	4.0	2.9	3.5	3.7
5	The Kings Head and Bell, Abingdon	Pleasant leafy courtyard and a fine pint of locally brewed stout	3.8	3.9	3.8	2.9	4.0	3.7
6	The Brewery Tap, Chester, Cheshire	This spitting feather’s outlet doesn’t go against the grain.	4.1	3.5	4.3	2.8	3.6	3.6
7	The Brewery Tap, Abingdon, Oxfordshire	Oxfordshire CAMRA stalwarts but a bit stripped back and bright .	3.8	3.8	3.5	3.0	3.8	3.6
8	The Boot, Boothsdale Cheshire	Or the cat as we yokels call it. Mike’s classic slice of Cheshirecana leaves BM lions unimpressed.	3.9	3.7	3.6	3.1	3.1	3.5
9	The Nags Head, Abingdon, Oxfordshire	Scenic on the outside, greige on the inside. What better place for a pint of Abingdon bridge though than on the bridge itself.	2.0	4.0	4.4	2.9	3.5	3.4
10	The Pied Bull, Chester, Cheshire	Post-half marathon pintage results in a weary rating.	3.6	2.6	3.9	2.8	3.8	3.3
11	The Angel and Greyhound, Oxford,	A 6 am pint and a bacon sandwich on May morning make this average Oxford pub seem better than it is.	3.6	4.0	3.5	2.3	2.3	3.1
12	The New Goose, Red Lion, Oxford	Ed’s favourite pub now bourged up with reindeer skins, folk art and no room for hoof hands.	3.6	2.6	3.7	2.5	2.0	2.9
12	Royal Oak, Kelsall, Cheshire	Collosomo gets his comeuppance, as this bottom of the village pub gets yet another refurb.	3.5	3.7	2.0	1.9	2.7	2.8
13	The Prince Arthur, Euston  London	The BM ladies football team remain unimpressed by this Euston booze-hole.	3.0	2.8	2.8	2.1	3.0	2.7

Thanks to all who helped rate pubs with this me this month including: Tone, Hardman, Weaver, Ben, Baldwin, Amy, Alsop, Hipster Chris, Hockenhull, Lazars, Harnden, Ed, Will, Padre Francis and the entire BM ladies football team.